September 16, 2019

Whether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been together for decades, proposing a change of routine in the bedroom can be an uncomfortable experience. Nobody wants to make their partner feel awkward or, even worse, like their lovemaking prowess is inadequate. But this is sometimes how the conversation goes when one partner brings up the subject of introducing sex toys into their play. However, it doesn’t have to be this way.

When discussing these matters with your partner, it is important to be tactful and considerate – same as with many other aspects of a relationship! In this article, we’ll help you approach the subject in a way that will not make anyone involved in the conversation feel negatively by the time the discussion is over.

Tips for Discussing Sex Toys with Your Partner

Below we will share with you four tips to help you successfully have a conversation about sex toys with your partner.

  • Don’t Use Words Like “Unsatisfied”

If you make your partner feel like they are not fulfilling your needs sexually, they’re not going to be receptive to the notion of bringing in toys. Instead, they may feel like you’re trying to replace them with a device. When you start the conversation, make sure that they know that you love the sex you’re having with them. Tell them that you don’t want to replace them. Rather, you want to enhance both of your experiences in the bedroom!

  • Timing is Everything

Your partner should be in a good and relaxed mood when discussing these things for the first time. Striking the conversation when they are stressed, tired, angry or hurt by something else will only amplify their upset and prompt them to shut down the conversation before it even begins. While you might feel that the issue is one you should bring up ASAP, poor timing won’t do you any favors.

  • Ask Them About Their Curiosities

If you’ve been thinking about introducing accessories to the bedroom for some time, there’s a chance that the thought has crossed your partner’s mind at some point as well. Inquire about this, gently, to see if there’s anything that they’ve been curious about trying. Perhaps your partner has been waiting for you to bring up the subject, out of fear of making things awkward. You might be surprised by what you find out!

  • Respect Their “No”

Even when you implement the tips above, there’s still every possibility that your partner will eventually say no to adding sex toys to your play. And you should respect this. Don’t get defensive and don’t try to change their mind. Doing this could compromise the overall dynamic of your relationship, since it could make your partner feel disrespected.

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