Mr. John Doe came home from work early
and found his wife in bed with a handsome
young man. Just as Mr. Doe was about to
storm out, she stopped him and said,
"Before you leave,
I'd like you to know how this happened."
"When I was driving home from shopping
this afternoon, I hit a hole in the pavement.
The hole was filled with water.
Great blobs of mud spattered all over this man.
Without a trace of anger, he looked at me and
said, "What rotten luck. I have a very
important meeting this afternoon and just
look a me!"
I told him that I was terribly sorry
and offered to clean him up.
He seemed grateful and I brought him home.
"He undressed in the bathroom and I
handed him the bathrobe I bought you
for Christmas a few years ago.
It no longer closes in front because of
your pot belly. While his clothes were
drying I gave him lunch - the casserole
you missed last night because you
decided to go out with the guys
after work. He said it was the best
home cooked meal he'd had in months.
I told him it was the first compliment I
had received about my cooking in years.
We talked while I pressed his shirt and
it was wonderful to have a conversation
with a man who seemed interested in what
I had to say.
Suddenly, he notice the ironing board
was wobbly. I had asked you a dozen times
to fix it, but you were always too busy.
The handsome stranger fixed the ironing
board in 10 minutes and then he actually
put the tools away.
"As he was about to leave, he asked with
a smile, 'Is there anything eles your
husband has neglected lately?' And that
is the end of my story!"
DDD
©
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Were kisses all the joys in bed,
one woman would another wed.
- William Shakespeare
Life is the art of drawing a
painting without an eraser.
Unknown
"Often a retrospect delights the mind"
Dante
What lies in the future,
is influenced by what
happens in the past.
Unknown
Beds of Purification
Beds are countries of delight
where only the selected beings
can mature. The spouses,
unknown, arise from them
protected by the gods: silent,
as they would be after divine purification
with a holy water; illuminated
like two tender, healthy calves.
Oh, how terrified I am of those
who inhabit the beds of love and
soaked to the bone with tender water.
What fear when they emerge sweet,
profound, transparent and refreshed
to their depths, bathed in the
holy water of kisses.
Jorge Debravo
Man survives earthquakes, epidemics,
the horrors of disease, and all the
agonies of the soul, but for all time
his tormenting tragedy is, and will be,
the tragedy of the bedroom.
Leo Tolstoy
Were kisses all the joys in bed,
one woman would another wed.
Shakespeare
Once they call you a Latin Lover, you're
in real trouble. Women expect an Oscar
performance in bed.
Marcello Mastroianni
Every minute this broad spends
outside of bed is a waste of time.
- Michael Todd
About Elizabeth Taylor
If we work together, we can enact
a bill that will keep the women in
this country safe from violence.
Vice President, Al Gore
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