Funny Welfare Excerpts
The Welfare Bloopers Lists

The following excerpts are drawn from letters written by
citizens applying for payments from a state welfare agency.

I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to
twins in the enclosed envelope.

I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son
illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week
before he was born.

Unless I get my money soon, I will be forced to live an
immortal life.

You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make
a difference?

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children,
one of which is a mistake as you can see.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell
me why?

I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby
was born.

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been
visited regularly by the clergy.

Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am
now living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy
weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children I
have on half a sheet of paper.

My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I
haven't had any relief since.

I want my money as quick as I can get it. I've been in bed
with the doctor for two weeks now and he doesn't do me any good.
If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

I am writing to say that my baby was born two years old, when do
I get my money.

This is my eighth child, what are you going to do about it?

You have changed my little boy to a little girl, will this make
any difference?

Please send me money at once since I have fallen into error with
my landlord.

I have no children as yet as my husband is a bus driver and works
day and night.

DO MOST PEOPLE ON WELFARE ABUSE THE SYSTEM?

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