Texas State Lotto Lottery Winning Numbers Million Dollors Winners
California State Lotto Lottery Winning Numbers Million Dollors Winners
New York State Lotto Lottery Winning Numbers Million Dollors Winners
Florida State Lotto Lottery Winning Numbers Million Dollors Winners
Louisiana State Lotto Lottery Winning Numbers Million Dollors Winners
Virginia State Lotto Lottery Winning Numbers Million Dollors Winners
A tightwad was convinced by a friend to buy a couple of tickets
in the state lottery. But after he won the big prize, he didn't
seem happy. "What's wrong?" the friend asked.
You just became a millionaire!"
"I know," he groaned. "But I can't imagine why I bought
the second ticked!"
- Ohio Motorist
Lottery Complaint:
Dear State Lottery Officials,
I played the lottery last week, but after the balls were drawn,
I realized that I'd inadvertently marked the wrong numbers on my
lottery ticket. The ticket was confusing and I want the
opportunity to pick my numbers for that lottery again.
One of my friends felt the ticket was confusing also, so after
marking his six numbers, he marked all of the other numbers too.
Jessie Jackson has indicated that he'll support my cause,
but only if I am a member of a minority group.
Bill Clinton said he'd support my cause for a 20 percent cut.
Barbra Streisand has offered to throw a final, final, final
concert on my behalf.
Ed Asner is going to make telephone calls in support of my claim.
Please advise.
Sincerely,
Nosmo King
Redneck Lottery Winner
A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery.
He goes to Austin to claim it and the man
verifies his ticket number.
The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way.
We give you a million today and then you'll get the
rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now!
I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explains that he would only get a million
that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out,
"Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me
my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
