Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection.
My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When
the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code,
he turned himself in.
- Rita Rudner
Men should be like Kleenex,
soft, strong and disposable.
- Cher
Men are superior to women.
For one thing, men can
urinate from a speeding car.
- Will Durst
For every woman who makes a fool out of a man,
there's another woman who makes a fool out of a man!
To a smart girl, men are no problem.
To a smart girl, a man is the answer!
Never insult an alligator until after
you have crossed the river.
- Cordel Hull
All men put their pants on one leg at a time.
Of course, some men take them off often!
Is he a self-made man, or does somebody
else have to take the rap?
He quit smoking cold turkey.
The feathers made him gag!
People like to help him out just
as soon as he comes in!
He's such a louse, when he went on jury duty,
they found him guilty.
What are the three words guaranteed to
humiliate men everywhere?
Hold my purse.
- Francois Morency
He's wrapped up in himself and he
makes a very untidy package.
He would make a perfect stranger!
He's a self made mouse!
When he cleans his nails, he loses twenty pounds!
When he was a kid, he swallowed a spoon.
He hasn't stirred since!
He's had it rough lately, his organ grinder died!
If he had his life to live over again, he shouldn't!
I'm glad I'm not bisexual;
I couldn't stand being rejected
by men as well as women.
- Bernard Manning
He's so negative, he won't even eat
food that agrees with him!
Sometimes, I wonder if men and women really
suit each other. Perhaps they should live
next door, and just visit now and then.
- Katharine Hepburn
If men can run the world, why can't
they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the
day by tying a little noose
around your neck?
- Linda Ellerbee
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time
I leave a man I keep his house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I only like two kinds of men,
domestic and foreign.
- Mae West
A woman without a man is like
a fish without a bicycle.
- Gloria Steinem
Women love men for their defects;
if men have enough of them women
will forgive them everything, even
their gigantic intellects.
- Oscar Wilde
Men are simple things.
They can survive a whole
weekend with only three things:
Beer, boxer shorts and batteries
for the remote control.
- Diana Jordan