In Hollywood they get married early in the morning.
If it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day!
"This picture came clean from Hollywood."
"Is that possible?"
One hollywood mongul has a dozen yes-men around
him at all times to do whatever he bids.
Once he was overheard to say to a sycophant nearby,
"I'm nervous.
Bite your nails for me!"
Two Hollywood execs were over heard at a power breakfast.
"Your lying to me!" shouted one, pounding the table.
"I know, you're right," said the other. "But hear me out."
- Jeff Giles
Hollywood Studio, Screenwriters,
Did you hear about the $2.7-billion
write-off Sony took on its
Hollywood Studio? "That was quick!" says
comedy writer Michael Connor. "It took the
Japanese only a couple of years to master
Hollywood-style-bookkeeping."
- Los Angels Times
A Hollywood screenwriter coming home from work spotted a
police line at the end of his street. He quickly discovered
the reason: His house had burned to the ground.
"What happened?" he asked a cop who was posting there.
"I'm sorry," the police officer said, "but your agent came
over this afternoon and kidnapped your wife and children
and then torched your house.
The screenwriter looked stunned. "My agent came to my house?"
- Esquire
The hardest thing in Hollywood is to keep the
marriage a secret until the divorce leaks out.
He's an associate producer.
He's the only one who'll associate
with the producer!"
I was invited to a Hollywood wedding.
Traffic was heavy, so I got there late,
just in time for the divorce.
Everybody in Hollywood is a big baby.
There, the flavor of the month is
"thumb"!
I made a picture once that was so bad
even the popcorn was panned!
One Hollywood actress ran out of men
to marry, and had to start marrying
those she'd been married to before!
One Hollywood kid is very proud.
At the las PTA meeting he won the
prize for having the most parents there.
An actress was complaining,
"Two years of studying and
whom has it gotten me?"
The movie starlet was examinging a coat she wanted
to wear to a premiere. Not sure of whether she
could dry-clean it or merely have it pressed, she
said, "I wonder what I should do for this coat."
Her roommate said, "Honey, haven't you done it yet?"
One actress was sentimental. She always got divorced
in the dress her mother was married in.
A Hollywood bride looked around as the groom put
her down after carrying her across the threshold.
Puzzled, the Hollywood bride said, "This place
looks familiar. Have we been married before?"