REVENGE of the BLONDES
Q: Why are so many blonde jokes one liners?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A: The invitation.
Q: What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A: A hostage.
Q: What's black and blue and brown and lying in a ditch?
A: A brunette who has told too many blonde jokes.
It's the good girls who keep diaries;
the bad girls never have the time.
Tallulah Bankhead
I'm not offended by all the dumb blondes
jokes because I know I'm not dumb,
and I also know that I'm not blonde.
- Dolly Parton
Girls are like pianos.
When they're not upright,
they're grand.
- Benny Hill
Girls are dynamite. If you don't
believe that, try dropping one.
Girls are always running through
my mind. They don't dare walk.
- Andy Gibb
She's like a photograph of her father
and a phonograph of her mother!
Never marry a girl who can open
envelopes with her breath!
She knew her oats. That's what they fed her!
She always walks a straight and narrow line
because that's the way she's built!
She must of been descended from Egyptian queens.
Every time he made a wrong move, she said, "Tut, tut!"
She uses so much perfume, when she stands,
she makes a puddle.
She made Phi Beta Kappa, one by one!
She wanted to see something in fur,
so her boyfriend took her to the zoo.
She must be capable.
She worked under a lot of men!
She never makes the same mistake twice,
she always finds a new one!
Men fall for her so hard, they even
lose their balance in the bank!
She was wild when I met her, but now
I've got her eating out of my pocket!
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute,
and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty
girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
That's relativity."
- Albert Einstein