Lots of girls can be had for a song.
Trouble is, it's the wedding march.
A letter of resignation from a woman who had quit to have a baby, said:
"Dear Boss: I am getting to big for this job..."
About the only time a woman really succeeds
in changing a male is when he's a baby.
Overheard at an auction sale:
"Sold to the lady with her husband's hand over her mouth."
"Your husband says he leads a dog's life."
"Yes, it's very similar.
He comes in with muddy feet, makes himself
comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed."
"Few women have any knowledge of parliamentary law."
You don't know my wife. She's been speaker of
the house for twenty-five years."
One way for a girl to get a mink coat is to find
a wolf and skin him.
Have you heard of the one about the lawyer who drove
his $50,000 Cadillac to Las Vegas and came back on his
$500,000 Greyhound?
What often keeps a man from making a fast buck is a slow horse.
Pity your boss.
The poor guy has to get up early to see who comes in late.
Ted: "I started out on the theory that the world had an opening for me."
Fred: "And you found it?"
Ted: "Well, kinda, I'm in the hole now."
Night club patron (approvingly watching a gorgeous
Latin go through her torrid dance):
"Lots of pepper!"
Friend: "Nice shaker, too!"
"The college I went to turned out some great men."
"When did you graduate?"
"I didn't exactly graduate. I was turned out."
Daughter: "Oh, mother, I took Henry into the loving room last night and...
Mother: :That's living, dear..."
Daughter: "You're telling me."