A lady is one who never
shows her underwear unintentionally.
- Lillian Day
Is that a gun in your pocket,
or are you just glad to see me?
- Mae West
Pink Panties Cocktails
1 six pack of light beer
1 fifth of vodka
add pink frozen lemonade
according to personal taste
Silk Panties
1 part Vodka
1 part Peach Schnapps
Chill shot
"I'll admit I may have seen better days,
but I'm still not to be had for the price
of a cocktail, like a salted peanut."
- Bette Davis
Absolut Pussy Mixed Drinks
2 oz Absolut Mandarin Vodka
2 oz Absolut Citron Vodka
2 oz Orange Juice
Stain ingredients into cocktail
glass and shake with ice.
Premature Ejaculations Cocktails
1 oz Creme de Menthe - white
1 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1 oz Vanilla Liqueur
Mix equal parts of each in mixing can.
Shake and strain with ice into cocktail glass
Stimulated Clitoris Mixed Drinks
1 shotBacardi Light Rum
3 splash Grenadine
3 splash Lime Juice
1/2 splash Triple Sec
1 package Sugar
Mix above ingredients.
Strain into cocktail glass with ice.
"Sex is like a bridge game;
if you don't have a good
partner, you better have
a good hand."
Confucious Says:
"Foolish man give wife grand piano.
Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Panties not best thing on earth,
but next to it."
"Woman who wear G-string,
high on crack!"
"Sex is emotion in motion."
- Mae West
"I believe that sex is one of the
most beautiful, natural, wholesome
things that money can buy."
- Steve Martin
"The difference between pornography
and erotica is lighting."
- Gloria Leonard
Between the Sheets Mixed Drinks
Juice of 1/4 Lemon
1/2 oz. Brandy
1/2 oz. Triple Sec
1/2 oz. Light Rum
Shake with ice and strain into cocktail glass.
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
- Steve Martin
Naked Bitch Mixed Drinks
1 /2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Buttershots
2 oz Orange Juice
1 dash Cream
Mix on the rocks
"I never drink anything stronger than gin before
breakfast. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't
even have the decency to thank her. What contemptible
scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
-W.C. Fields
Pink Panties Mixed Drinks
Six pack light beer
1/5 vodka
Pink lemonade mix
Pour over cocktail glasses
with ice cubes.
"Vodka martini," I said. "Incredibly dry.
Powdered, if you've got it."
- Hugh Laurie
Silk Nylon Stockings Cocktails
1 1/2 oz. Tequila
1 oz. Creme de Cacao
1 1/2 oz. Cream
1 Dash Grenadine
Shake ingredients with crushed ice. Strain into
cocktail glass. Sprinkle
cinnamon on top.
"Sex is emotion in motion."
- Mae West
Sexual Orgasm Cocktails
1 part(s) Malibu Coconut Rum
2 part(s) Lemonade
1 part(s) Vodka
Strain into cocktail glass
with ice cubes
Wedge of lime.
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite,
and, furthermore, always carry a small snake."
- W.C. Fields
"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with
my Scotch, I say, "I'm thirsty, not dirty".
- Joe E. Lewis
Clitoris Stimulator
2 oz Lemon Gin
1 oz Tequila
1/2 oz Citron Vodka
1 1/2 oz Cream
2 oz Lemon Juice
1 dash Fine Ground Sugar
Combine ingredientes
Strain into collins glass
with ice cubes
Top with a cherry.
"What is a cocktail dress?"
"Something to spill cocktails on."
- William Powell & Jean Arthur
007 Cocktails
2 oz Orange Vodka
2 oz Orange Juice
3 oz 7-Up
Strain vodka over ice in highball glass
add orange juice and 7-up.
Women do not drink liquor but it
disappears when they are present.
- Irish Proverb
When I read about the evils of
drinking, I gave up reading.
- Henny Youngman
And Why Not...Hmmm?
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Apricot Flavored Brandy
1/2 oz. Dry Vermouth
1 Dash Lemon Juice
Shake with ice and strain into cocktail glass.
"You're not drunk if you can lie
on the floor without holding on."
- Dean Martin
"Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that
I may wet my mind and say something clever."
- Aristophanes
One more drink and I'll be under the host.
- Dorothy Parker
Pick-Up Cocktails
1 1/2 ozs. rye whiskey
1/2 oz. Fernet Branca
3 dashes Pernod
1 lemon wedge
Stir gently with cube of
ice in old-fashioned glass.
Float slice of lemon.
Stir and serve in old fashioned glass over ice cubes
and add a twist of lemon peel.
"The good thing about masturbation is that
you don't have to dress up for it."
- Truman Capote
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- Author Unknown
Sex in the Bedroom
1 oz. Shambord
1 oz. Malibu Rum
1 oz. Pineapple Juice
Combine ingredients
in cocktail glass
Garnish with cherry.
You're not drunk if you can lie on
the floor without holding on.
- Dean Martin
"I have taken more good from alcohol
than alcohol has taken from me."
- Winston Churchill
I drink to make other people interesting.
- George Jean Nathan
Why don't you slip out of those wet
clothes and into a dry Martini?
- Robert Benchley
My grandmother is over eighty and
still doesn't need glasses.
Drinks right out of the bottle.
- Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us
and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I never drink water because of the disgusting
things that fish do in it.
- W.C. Fields
Giving up smoking is the easiest
thing in the world. I know because
I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Wine divulges truth.
- Irish Proverb
I'm only a beer teetotaller,
not a champagne teetotaller.
- George Bernard Shaw
Absolute Sex Mixed Drinks
1 1/4 oz. absolut kurant
1/2 oz. melon liqueur
1 part cranberry juice
1 part 7-Up
Strain into a cocktail glass
Tight Snatch
1 oz. light rum
3/4 oz. peach schnapps
fill with pineapple juice
Stir in highball glass
Slow Screw
1 oz. vodka
1 oz. sloe gin
fill with orange juice
Strain into a cocktail glass
Slippery Nipples
1/2 oz. sambuca
1/2 oz. baileys
1/2 oz. Kahlua
Strain into a cocktail glass
Sex
1/2 oz. spiced rum
1/2 oz. amaretto
1/2 oz. whiskey
1/2 oz. orange juice
1/2 oz. pineapple juice
1/2 oz. cranberry juice
1/2 oz. greandine
Shake with ice, strain
and pour into highball glasses
Sex Up Against The Wall
1 part vodka
1 part pineapple juice
1 part cranberry juice
1 part sour mix
Shake with ice, strain
and pour into highball glasses
Sex In the Parking Lot
1/2 oz. chambord
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. apple schnapps
Shake with ice, strain
and pour into cocktail glasses
Screaming Orgasm
1/2 oz. Bailey's
1/2 oz. Grand Marnier
1/2 oz.Vodka
Pour on the rocks
into a highball glass
Pink Pussycat
1 1/2 oz. vodka
fill with pineapple juice
splash of grenadine
Strain in highball glass
Orgasms
2 oz. vodka
2 oz. amaretto
2 oz. kahlua
2 oz. light cream
Shake and strain into cocktail glass
"Sex is emotion in motion."
- Mae West
California Root Beer
1 oz. kahlua
1 oz. galliano
2 oz. club soda
1 oz. coke
optional splash of beer
Stain into highball glass
Buttery Nipples
3/4 oz Butterscotch Schnapps
1/4 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
Strain into shot glass
The proper union of gin and vermouth is a
great and sudden glory; it is one of the
happiest marriages on earth, and one of
the shortest lived.
- Bernard De Voto
More Mixed Drink Recipes!
