All these, however, were mere terrors
of the night, phantoms of the mind
that walk in darkness; and though he
had seen many spectres in his time
and been more than once beset by satan
in diverse shapes, in his lonely
perambulation, yet daylight put an
end to all these evils; and he would
have passed a pleasant life of it, in
despite of the devil and all his works
if his path had not crossed by a being
that causes more perplexity to mortal
man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole
race of witches put together,
and that was
a woman.
- Washington Irving


How are you? I'm Mr. Funny Bones and I must tell you that a full jolly tummy is a happy hearty heart! He He

I would like for your to meet my lovely wife, for whom I'm soooo proud of! She's a great cook, yet she watches her figure and doesn't have an ounze of fat! All of my friends turn GRREEEN with envy when they encounter her. You know, I'm a very jealous man and I will not tolerate any man flirting with her. Just ask poooor old George! I once had to rough him up a little because I saw a look in his eyes I didn't like, when he bumped into my lovely wife. I'm sure he turn red because of the passion he felt for her. I felt sorry later because I over-reacted. I sent him to my brother whose doctor.

Ho Ho Ho! Enough of that! Please meet my darling wife. She's so beautiful that she takes away your breath!

Heellloooo! I'm Mrs. Funny Bones. My husband is such a jealous man and is constanly suspecious of a man even accidently bumping into me! Yes, I realize that I am irresistible to ALL men, because they go into spasms every time they see me. he he As you can see, I'm am a health freak and am always watching what I eat. To maintain this girlish figure, I eat only low fat food!

My husband is such a wonderful and sweet man but loses control and become a tiny bit violent when jealous. If you yourself are a man, please don't flirt with me! Ask pooor dear George! He KNOWS what I mean!






Howdy! I'm pooor George. I was invited for dinner last year and I've never been quite the same. I accidently bumped into Mr. Funny Bones wife, and Mr. Bones thought I was trying to kiss her. As you can see, he roughed me up just a little. Yes, I know I have a few cuts here and there, and I look a somewhat different from the way I used to. Dr. Death says that I should be healing very soon. I can't understand why people scream with terror ever time they see me. I have an appointment with my dentist to clean my teeth. I think I'm gettin a nasty cavity. Also, I think I have an eye infection. Hope I won't need glasses!

Well, I'll let you go so that you can meet the family. I know that everyone there will love you to DEATH, just like they did with me! Please forgive me if my hand shakes a little, but it happens everytime I get excited. You can ENTER the door now! he he

ENTER!