Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex."
He is a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that
I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!"
Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked
like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I have had Sex since I was 9
years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me,
and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room.
As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said,
"Look, you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing
there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the
contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't
understand," I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said,
"Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married."
The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case,
please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said,
"Me, too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at
4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.
© Morty Storm
Dog with the largest Repertoire of tricks:
Chanda-Leah, a toy poodle owned and trained by Sharon Robinson,
has a repertoire of 469 tricks, which includes playing the
piano and fetching a tissue when someone sneezes.
The Bravest Dog:
A Saint Bernard dog named Barry saved the lives of more than 40
people during his 12 year career in the Swiss Alps. His rescue
included that of a boy who lay half frozen under an avalanche
in which his mother had died. Barry spread himself across the
boys body to warm him and licked the child's face until he woke
up, and then carried him to the nearest dwelling.
Best Police Dog:
The world's top police dog is Trepp, a golden Retriever, owned
by Tom Kazo, USA. Trepp, short for Intrepid, has been credited
with more than 100 arrests and the recovery of narcotics worth
more than $63 million. Within his first two months on the job,
Trepp had sniffed 3,351 lbs. of unlawful substances. He was
once ordered to detect 10 hidden packets of drugs at a
demonstration and found 11.
Guuinnes World Records
The average dog is a nicer person
than the average person.
- Andy Rooney
I Have No Respect For Justice - Ann Landers
Do Dogs Have Souls? - Ann Landers
Dogs Are Men's and Women's Best Teachers
Confucius Says Funny Naughty Quotes
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