Woman won't unlock car door for man
Doesn't engage in oral sex
Man gets in car without opening door for woman
No foreplay
Insists on going to a brand new restaurant
Prefers virgins
Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way
Is a virgin
Can't hail a cab
Impotent
Insists on going to a homely little cafe with windmill motif
Compulsive Don Quixote
Insists on going to a romantic candle lit restaurant
Compulsive Don Juan
Insists on going to a Polynesian bar
Compulsive Don Ho
Wants to go to a French restaurant
Will swallow
Wants to go to a deli - Won't swallow
Takes too long deciding what to order
Has trouble reaching orgasm
Orders salad dressing on the side
Will give you a handjob, but will not go all the way
Gives explicit orders to waiter
Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed
Asks for extra rolls
Will say she is using birth control when she's not.
Will get pregnant and sue
Insists on ordering for you, referring to you as
"The lady will have." Thinks you had an orgasm
when you didn't
Asks for the usual
Insists on missionary position only
Asks what the specials are
Will want you to use handcuffs
Fills up on bread and crackers
Premature ejaculation
Doesn't finish everything on plate
Has already come
Insists on having some of whatever you ordered
Will make you sleep on the wet spot
Changes mind after ordering
Will never call you
Changes tables
Nymphomaniac
Drinks Decaf
Fakes Orgasm (Female)
Orders in French - Fakes Orgasm (Male)
Sends food back
Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends,
then try to borrow money
Asks for detailed descriptions of desserts
Needs you to talk dirty during sex
Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers
Wants a handjob
Orders a dessert involving nuts
Castrating Bitch
Wants to split dessert
Is dying to get rid of her apartment, move in with you,
rearrange all your closets and take down all your
baseball posters
Credit card is refused
Low sperm count
Undertips waiter
Small penis
Undertips parking valet
Small penis
Undertips cabbie
Small penis
Uses toothpick
Is trying to tell you size isn't everything
Removable cassette player in car
Pulls out repeatedly during sex
Cellular phone in car
Penile implant
Dating Problem
There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called
Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.
One day he went to work to find a new girl had started.
Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous.
He became quite besotted with her and after a while it
became obvious that she was interested in him too.
But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't do
anything with Clearly while he was still going out
with Lorraine.
He decided that there was nothing for it but to break
up with her and get it on with the new girl.
He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he
couldn't bring himself to do it. One day they went
for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped
and fell in to the river. The current carried her off
and she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then
ran off smiling and singing.
"I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"
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