Cover your stump before you hump.
Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
Don't be silly, protect your willy.
When in doubt, shroud your spout.
Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.
You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong.
If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
If you slip between her thighs, condomize.
It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
She won't get sick, if you wrap your dick.
If you go into heat, package your meat.
While your undressing venus, dress up your penis.
When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse.
Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
Never ever deck her, with an unwraped pecker.
Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
The right selection, is to protect your erection.
Wrap it in foil, before checking her oil.
A crank with armor, will never harm her.
If you really love her, wear a cover.
Don't make a mistake! Muzzle your snake.
Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
No glove, No love.
Don't be in such a jiffy, cover your stiffy.
Package your meat for a real neat treat
Holster your gun then shootings more fun
Canvas that trailer before you nail her
Net that grass hopper before you pop her
Sock that wanger before you bang her
Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser
Trim your hardwood then do her real good
Garnish your oak then give her a poke
AIDS is no joke, be sure to wrap before you poke.
Pouch your associate then go fornicate
Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate
Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates
Catch that goat before it bloats
Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen
Restrain your hammer then wham bam her
Prune that stalk then make her squawk
Wrap that rod then please her bod
Sheath that knife she ain't your wife
House that bottle then mash her throttle
Sash that hash then thrash that gash
Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle
Can your knob then throb her swab
Contain old Doug then clean her rug
Cover your limb before you swim
Retain your bailer then impail her
Rope your dope then make some soap
Net your salamander then make salad in her
Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper
Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds
Hat that chef then scramble her cleft
Cover your stone before you bone
House your hose then curl her toes
Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass
Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch
Shield your rocks then pond her box
Cover old sly then do her dry
Wrap your rail then fill her pail
Glove your chimney before you come in me
If your nude tube your dude
Cloak your hitter then go split her
Wrap your nipper before you dip her
Can your spam then bam that mam
Corral your ram then slice her ham
Sheath your sliver then jab her liver
Twist your wick then stick that prick
Cover old Bart then dart her tart
Shed old spot then do her slot
Drawer your pip then split her lips
Contain that leach then mash her peach
Bag your elm then take the helm
Constrain your gem to catch the flem
Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these
Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot
Survey your land then plant her stand
Before you drive her protect that diver
Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt
Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her
Cover you post then slice her roast
Blanket old juicy then plug old loosey
Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon
Contain that viper before you pipe her
Tub that sub then rub her hub
Wrap Mr. Clean then introduce her spleen
Dam your giver then fill her quiver
Desperate pricks wrap those dicks
Funny Farm Condoms
Nike condoms - Just do it.
Toyota condoms - Oh what a feeling.
Pringles condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop.
KFC condoms - Finger-lickin' good.
Ford condoms - The best never rest.
Bounty condoms - The quicker picker upper.
Energizer condoms -It keeps going and going and going.
M & Ms condoms -It melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
Star Trek condoms - To boldly go where no man has gone before.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place,
it doesn't belong in your face...
General Electric: We bring good things to life!
AT&T condom: 'Reach out and touch someone.'
Microsoft: where do you want to go today ?
Chevron: use them? people do.
Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border
MCI: for friends and family
Double Mint: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter
Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta's ready when you are
United Airlines travel pack: Fly United
Wendy Condoms: Where's the beef?
Denny's Condoms: $1.99 Grand Slam
Mazda Condom: It Just Feels Right!
Saddam Buys A Condom
When Saddam was just a youngster,
he went to the drug store
and asked the pharmacist,
"Sir, can you tell me where the ribbed condoms are?"
The pharmacist replied,
"Son, do you know what condoms are used for?"
"Sure do. They keep you from getting venereal diseases."
The pharmacist was impressed.
"That's right, son. Do you know what the ribs are for?"
Saddam paused and then answered,
"Well, not really, but they sure do make
the hair on my goat's back stand up!"
What do you get when a naked man ties
a string around his waist with a potatoe
dangling at its end?
A DICK Tater
Condoms should be marketed in three sizes,
jumbo, colossal and super colossal so
that men do not have to go in and ask for
How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in
your wallet than on your dick.
Why are condoms like cameras?
They both capture the moment.
Condoms aren't completely safe.
A friend of mine was wearing one
and got hit by a bus.