40-ish...48
Adventurer...Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic....Flat-chested
Average looking...Ugly
Beautiful...Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...Bring your penicillin
Educated...College dropout
Emotionally Secure...Medicated
Feminist...Fat ball buster
Free spirit...Substance user
Friendship first...Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun...Annoying
Gentle...Comatose
Good Listener...Borderline Autistic
New-Age...All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned...Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded...Desperate
Outgoing...Loud
Passionate...Loud
Poet...Depressive Schzophrenic
Professional...Real Witch
Redhead...Shops the Clairol section
Reubenesque...Grossly Fat
Romantic...Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous...Very Fat
Weight proportional to height...Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...One step away from stalking
Widow...Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart...Toothless crone
Personal Ads, Abbreviations and Men
Personal Ads, Abbreviations and Women
Strange BUT True Newspaper Ads
Rules For Dieting
The Perfect Girl
Why Do Women Love Men?
The Difference Between Love and Lust
What A Feeling Flashdance Lyrics
You Are So Beautiful Lyrics
Diamonds Are Forever
Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend Lyrics
Diamond Ring Jon Bon Jovi
Diamonds Janet Jackson Lyrics
La Bamba Song and Lyrics by Dusty Springfield
